


Faded Edges

by meanderingsoul



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Aging, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Cleaning Up, Cuddling & Snuggling, Established Relationship, F/M, Friendship/Love, Hair, Heavy Petting, Hotel Sex, Mild Kink, Past Injury, Self-Worth Issues, Teasing, X-ray Vision
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-04-03 23:30:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14007219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meanderingsoul/pseuds/meanderingsoul
Summary: It was the fact that it was May’s idea that made it so funny.May was just not the one who had those ideas.Hewas the one who had all the weird ideas.





	Faded Edges

  


It was the fact that it was May’s idea that made it so funny.

May was just not the one who had those ideas. _He_ was the one who had all the weird ideas.

Not that she wasn’t usually game for whatever he suggested, but May was so easy to please it just about broke his heart. She’d always been that way, long as he’d known her, about way too many things. Whatever he wanted was fine as long as he wanted it with her. Doting on her generally took effort and manipulation, but he was good at both of those things for better or worse.

They’d cannibalized his spare left hands for parts for Fitz to craft something more functional for Elena. It’d be a long time before they had anything close to the resources they’d used to, so it was months before he had a hand with all the bells and whistles again, and even longer before they were creeping through a warehouse and he had occasion to use the backscatter scanner in his palm.

May was still standing where he’d stopped her from charging in ahead, but she’d tipped her head to the side.

“It’s kind of awesome isn’t it?” Phil said under his breath, because it really was awesome. He liked the energy shield better, but not by too big of a margin.

“Huh,” May said.

Phil hadn’t thought much of it at the time. Or for the next couple weeks.

But then they were in a hotel room in Hong Kong and she’d tossed two pairs of black goggles onto the bed.

He had no idea how she’d gotten her hands on them. Of course Fitzsimmons hadn’t just made the glasses they’d used to hijack Akela’s feed years ago. There’d been the goggles and then some combination with thermal imaging and then a full headset for sensory deprivation and then something else had come up and Fitz had moved on to other gear, setting aside a box of tech that would have taken anyone else months of work. But all that stuff had been in their old base, the one still mostly inaccessible.

“What’s this?”

“I thought we could wear them while we had sex.”

Phil could feel himself grinning hard enough to make his face ache, but he really couldn’t stop it. There was a sense of things you got used to when things were stable, steady. They had a flight tomorrow afternoon, a king-sized hotel bed, he’d just showered, and May was only wearing her work bra and a pair of his boxers. That they were going to have sex within the hour was just something they both kind of _knew_.

This was just so damn _cute_.

She was squinting at him now, feet barely on the floor while she sat on the mattress. “What? We don’t have to…”

Phil stepped over and cupped her neck in his palm, stroking the shell of her ear with his thumb. “Of course we do. You realize this is the first time you’ve _asked_ me for anything.”

Mel snapped the band of his underwear against his belly and smirked. “Think I’ve asked you for plenty.”

“Hmm. Not quite the same thing,” he said, leaning over to kiss her. Mel chased his mouth when he stood back up.

This had become steady too. He clicked off the lights and checked the door while she checked the windows. They undressed themselves and dropped their clothes on top of the still-packed bags by the bed. Old habits, but her fingers trailed across his back, warm and ticklishly light.

Phil twisted his prosthetic back into place before he sat down, didn’t want to be down a hand when they did something new. Melinda kissed his shoulder and he nuzzled her cheek.

They put the goggles on together, though it took Phil a moment to find the little power button on the side.

“Can you see me?” she asked.

“Wait, it’s… yeah, sort of. Just the shape of you.”

Phil watched the round outline of her head scan the room, look down at her own hands. It was so weird to watch her move without the details, without the swing of her hair or the flick of her dark eyes.

Huh. “I can see through the mattress,” he said but Mel was climbing into his lap. He could feel her thighs warm and smooth, but could only see the bright, blue-white outlines. She settled her ass just above his knees like she owned the place, which, she did really, and skimmed her hands up along his chest.

Usually she’d grin right about now, but if she was he couldn’t see it. This was really kinda weird. Phil ran a heavy hand down her back to cradle the lean swell of her ass in his hand.

They missed mouths their first try for a kiss, off-center and too hard. May gave a barely audible snort of amusement while he smeared his lips along her jawline in damp, warm kisses. Finally he caught the back of her neck in his hand, tipped her skull with his thumb the right direction to slant their mouths together. It was easier to judge distance the second try, though Mel grinned into the kisses until he pressed his tongue inside to lave across hers.

He had to reel back when she ducked her head suddenly and almost smashed into his nose, probably invisible against the round blob of his head. “Hard to see like this, isn’t it?” he said.

Phil’s breath left him in a rush when she slipped an arm between their hips, curving her fingers beneath where he was half hard against his thigh and putting pressure on the tip of him with her thumb. There was a moment where he felt and saw nothing but the full body shudder as his dick twitched into her touch.

“Not hard to see _you_ ,” she teased, still looking down between them.

“Hah, thanks for that.”

“Mm.” She shifted closer to him, more into straddling one of his thighs and he caught the restless grind of her hips down against him before she put her mouth on his neck, hot and soft.

Phil wrapped both arms around her tightly and fell back, rolling them over quickly to land with his knees either side of her hips. He glimpsed the steadying flail of one of her arms out so the side, a flare of blue-white curves and ghostly fingers, and rubbed himself teasingly against the softness of her stomach because it felt _so_ good and it always made her… yup. May squirmed under him and yanked him down onto his elbows, more of his body against hers, warm and close.

He kissed down her breast bone, though thankfully he couldn’t see it, see the bones. He’d seen _plenty_ of May’s x-rays before. Most of her torso was a featureless light blob, which really was kind of disappointing more than anything else, but this was worth trying once and it’d been _May’s_ idea. He could see the slight outward curves of her breast when he shuffled down on the bed.

“Can _kinda_ see you,” he crooned, nuzzling against one gently and trying not to catch her skin with the goggles.

“That’s mean,” May whined, poking him in the shoulder.

Mel’s breasts were just as compact as the rest of her, which only made sense really, but every once and a while she decided to be mad about it, same way she liked to pretend she wasn’t short. “Oh _please_. They’re perfect,” because they were, warm and sweet under his touch.

But he still missed her nipple with his mouth when he leaned down, the different shades of skin invisible with the backscatter, so he pressed a kiss instead to try and cover for the clumsiness, found the right spot by the faint textures of her skin under his tongue, hotter and so delicately thin. Phil drank down her shuddery breathing while he sucked at her, one then the other, until the tender flesh was hot and peaked and her hand clutched tight around the back of his neck.

She twisted under him, bucked up and then he was on his back, hands braced on his chest and hips shifting until he was right where she wanted him, his dick pressed between his belly and her hot folds while she rocked her hips against him. It seemed like she was watching her hands on his chest, though they weren’t really moving much. Normally he’d watch her face, but given he couldn’t actually see it he was watching the faint sway of the curves of her breast.

It was easy enough rubbing the palm of his left hand along her flank, hard to miss that, but when he reached up to twine his fingers through her hair like he normally would he first hit empty air and then caught the edge of her ear with his thumb a bit.

May shook her head sharply after his fingers trailed across her neck. “What?!”

“Sorry. I, can’t see your hair.”

“I can’t see yours either,” she said, and he could hear the barely-stifled proud amusement at that particular statement. So original May.

“Now that _is_ mean,” he grumbled, but of course she picked right then to ride up on her knees and start sinking down onto him.

His breath caught in his chest a moment, but his hands closed tight around her hips the second she hissed quietly, slowed her pace with tense arms. Oh fuck she was always so tight…

“Slow, slow, no rush, just you n me,” he murmured, letting her rock down onto him bit by bit. They’d been petting each other a while, but he hadn’t put his mouth or fingers to her like he usually would.

She growled at him for ‘fussing’ but shuddered under his hands.

When she’d settled against his lap he sat up, caught her jaw with his thumb and kissed her deeply, belly to belly as they breathed. She trailed the tip of her tongue under his upper lip and sucked gently.

May skimmed her fingertips over his hair. “Re…remember when I dyed it blue while you were sleeping?”

“Yeah Mel,” and he nuzzled at her cheek but the stupid goggles clacked against each other.

She shoved him down onto his back and started to move, quick rocking with that side to side shifting that put him just how she liked him and her hands pinning his shoulders.

It didn’t have the same clumsiness to it to find the right spot with his knuckles by feel, trap that slick little bud between his fingers and let her ride down against the shifting touches. Phil bent his knees up when she started gasping, held her hip tight and pressed _just so_.

She sucked in a sharp breath and arched, falling back against his thighs while the flutter of her orgasm made him moan. He held her hips to his while he bucked up into her body just a few times, skin too tight and too hot all over just before his mind whited out for a blissful few seconds.

Phil peeled the goggles off when her breathing started to slow, reached up to take hers once she’d loosened the strap, set them aside. There she was, flushed cheeks and dark hair stuck to her forehead and crooked little grin, one elbow on top of his knees like the back of a chair.

He sat up and held her tight to him again. It was easier now to cradle her face in his hand, brush across her dark lashes with the pad of his thumb. She took a quick lick across the thudding pulse in his wrist.

Very carefully Phil held her head still and kissed her eyelids, one by one.

“Was that fun?” he asked, gesturing towards the backscatter goggles.

She just shrugged.

“You thirsty?”

“Mmhm,” she hummed faintly, but Phil didn’t move right away, held her close with her head heavy on his shoulders and his body still clasped warm inside hers.

Eventually she flopped down on her back in a graceless sprawl. Phil gulped down a glass of water in the little bathroom and refilled it for Mel before he wet a cloth for her, wiping himself down with his still damp towel. She’d put his t-shirt on by the time he was done of course, so he had to grab a different one out of the bags. She gulped down the water with grateful eyes and let him tug a knee out to the side, wash the sweat and slickness from her thighs before she yanked the cloth out of his hand and finished up herself, pitching the fabric through the bathroom door in a perfect arc before flopping back down.

“I don’t get that,” she grumbled at him, dragging a pillow to herself rather than move.

“I _get_ to do that,” he replied, kissing her belly just above the patch of dark fuzz, nuzzled at the skin just under his shirt and she squirmed.  

“I should shave.”

May tugged him face down against her belly. “Nope.”

It was so nice to have enough time in their days that snuggling with her after sex didn’t have to be rare, that he could let it feel like something they’d be able to get used to. Together.

*

Melinda put the goggles back on later after Phil was sound asleep on his side, breathing so silently that a long time ago she’d once watched Garrett hold a mirror in front of his face just to check.

With the backscatter on she could see just how deep the implant was set into his left arm, how it anchored into the bones, could see the pins in his right leg that Lincoln had set into his fibula, could see the metal that held his ribcage together these days.

Every time she remembered all of that it was like getting kicked in the chest.

She hurt all the time, knuckles shoulders and knees, but she wasn’t held together with safety pins like he was. Part of her always wanted to rail about how unfair it was. Part of her always wanted to think what kind of a complete failure of a specialist let their charge take that kind of damage.

Melinda kept all those thoughts to herself.

She took off the goggles and there he was, grey t-shirt and the faint freckles on the backs of his arms he’d had since they’d met. Usually she slept on her belly next to him, shoulder to shoulder, but instead she squirmed close enough to get an arm around him and cradle his one wrist in her hand, rub her cheek against the back of his head, rasp the short salt-and-pepper fuzz against her skin.

It was a kind of joy she’d never thought to hope for before, that they’d lived long enough for her to watch him go grey.

  


**Author's Note:**

> This entire fic is [THIS](https://meanderings0ul.tumblr.com/post/171605505331/crazymaryt-ussjellyfish-crazymaryt) post's fault, though it ended up being written less for laughs and more as established relationship, old n married nonsense than I'd originally imagined. I think I like this better. 
> 
> Like, in a perfect world for me the Director Johnson hand-off would happen slowly and Coulson and May would spend more time traveling together as the field team the enjoyed being, arranging things with other assets and doing important negotiations and picking out where to buy a little house when everything's done and official. I would like that.
> 
> Thanks for reading <3


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